How to Connect with Your Kids: Tired of Surface-Level Parenting? Learn How to Connect on a Deeper Level!

22 July 2023
22 July 2023 300 Fathers

Hey there, fellow dads! As a 40+ year old father of a son and a daughter, I know firsthand how essential it is to learn how to connect with your kids. It’s incredible to witness them grow and evolve, and connecting with them on a deeper level can be one of the most rewarding experiences of fatherhood. So, let’s dive into some practical tips on how we can strengthen those bonds and create lasting memories together.

Understanding Your Children’s Individuality

You know, my son and daughter couldn’t be more different if they tried! My son is of course into video games, likes to play soccer and he is super analytical, while my daughter is a gymnast at the junior olympic level, loves arts and crafts and tends to be free spirited. It took me a while to realize that embracing their uniqueness is key to connecting with kids on a deeper level. When we show genuine interest in their passions and engage in activities they love, it’s like a secret doorway into their hearts.

How to Connect with Your Kids

Every year around my son’s birthday, we do some type of event like the circus or here, we went to see the Lion King at the Kennedy Center

How to Connect with Your Kids Engaging in Shared Activities

One of the best ways to connect with your kids is through shared experiences. Because of our crazy schedules, we really value family time. We trying to let one of the kids pick something to do for outings and then we all go all in with supporting them as a family. I also make sure to have my son participate with some of my activities like working out and mountain biking. These outings not only bring us closer but also create unforgettable memories that we cherish.

Being Present and Involved

As a busy dad, it’s not always easy to juggle work and family life. But trust me, being present and involved is worth every effort. When my kids see that I’m fully present during our interactions, it reinforces how much I value our time together. Putting away distractions, like my phone, and actively listening to their stories from school or their dreams and fears, makes all the difference.

Fostering Emotional Expression

Kids might not always say it outright, but they need to know it’s okay to express their emotions. We encourage open communication in our family, and I try to be vulnerable about my own feelings too. My son is a creator of habit like me. It never fails when the new school year comes around, I can sense the feeling of “the unknown” weighing on him a bit. I always talk to him about it as opposed to telling him to just get over it. The truth is, I remember those EXACT emotions about starting a new school year let alone a new school from my younger years.

Encouraging Independence and Decision Making

As fathers, we naturally want to protect our kids from making mistakes. But learning and growing come hand in hand with making choices and experiencing both successes and failures. Independence is a confidence booster, and supporting them through decisions builds trust.

Communicating Values and Life Lessons

Our role as dads is not just to provide, but also to guide our kids in life. In this world that we live in now, our kids have so many things pulling at them for attention. It’s critical that we instill our values into our kids. If we fail to do this, there will be others that will do it for you and it may not yield the results that you would like.

Addressing Conflict and Challenges

Let’s face it, conflicts are bound to happen, even in the happiest families. When disagreements arise, I try my best to stay calm and patient. I think so many children do not address conflict resolution in their home and when they get out into the world, they struggle to cope and it can often times lead them down a dark path.


Fellow dads, learning how to connect with your kids on a deeper level is a journey filled with love, joy, and growth. Embrace their individuality, engage in shared experiences, and be present in their lives. Encourage emotional expression and independence while guiding them with values and life lessons. Address conflicts with patience and understanding, knowing that each challenge is an opportunity for growth.

Remember, it’s the little moments that create the strongest connections. Cherish every laugh, every hug, and every conversation, because those are the building blocks of the extraordinary bond you share with your children. Happy fatherhood, and enjoy the journey of connection and love with your kids!


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